good day sunshine

it's all too much. my life is closing in on me. I'm loving every minute of it and it's killing me. after school i turn in my gym packets. finally done. i run to the auditorium to help with the run through/rehearsal of the assembly that we have to pull together by friday. i run home and get money for my tap shoes and an hour of math tutoring. (in hopes that i can get a high enough ACT score to get into BYU) after my horribly boring hour with my freakishly smart tutor i have a small breakdown in the car. i find myself driving right past my house. i take a right and know exactly where i'm going. on my way i see cute little jakey holding a tennis racket and looking his phone in his driveway. it made me smile. weren't we 10 yesterday? at the top of the street i take a left and another right. the parking lot is PACKED. i park far away and begin the trek toward the park. on the way i notice my mom's white SUV. my mind is too full to think about why she would be here.

there are kids everywhere. and then it occurs to me. soccer. there are two games going on right now, sure enough, there's satchel, the black kid wearing a neon green jersey.

kids scream and laugh and slide and climb. i get annoyed. then i realize that God has placed a small miracle in my path today. no children are on the swings. and so i sit. i sit in the swing that has become mine. it's the swing that knows my joys and hardships. it's been there while i rant to kelsarro. this swing has become a symbol in my life. the best way to reduce stress. the best way to celebrate a triumph. i sat on this swing next to my best friends on tay's last friday night. and so, i contemplate and for a minute, just a minute, the world disappears. forget the homework and lack of sleep, forget that you have 3 hours of musical rehearsal later this evening. forget those relationships you are constantly trying to improve. forget your weaknesses. remember your strengths. remember the love.

i close my eyes as i swing life away.